“You actually like this noise?” - Old White Lady

Artist: Albert Ayler, Don Cherry, John Tchicai, Roswell Rudd, Gary Peacock, Sonny Murray

Album: New York Eye and Ear Control

Year: 1964

Well, go figure, apparently some people get kind of wound up when a kinda shitty punk band screams “Fuck the U.S.A.” over and over again. In fairness on this one, plenty of people hate the Exploited for lots of different, and often legitimate, reasons, so maybe I shouldn’t be too critical on this one. Of course, the lecture I received on loving my country to a sufficient degree made me lose most of the sympathy I may have had. Choicest line from the gentleman berating me for lack of patriotism: “what if one of The Troops had come into the store? They’re dying overseas for Our Freedom right now, you know!”*

*Note: killing poor villagers in the mountains of Pakistan hasn’t done anything to protect my freedom, so far as I can tell.

Artist: The Exploited

Album: Troops of Tomorrow

Year: 1982

Apparently, uptight white people (this gentleman was from Texas, judging by the accent) don’t care for the line “I’ve had 20 years of cock/and I’m never gonna stop”. I wonder if this guy would have complained if I’d been playing the Rolling Stones’ “Brown Sugar” (which, of course, is about a white man raping a black woman). I’d guess “no” on that one. But, hey, who wants to hear a gay dude sing about his sexuality? Gross!

Artist: Pansy Division

Album: That’s So Gay

Year: 2009

A fresh complaint from today! So I was playing my punk rawk, as I do, and decided to spin the uber-classic P.E.A.C.E./War compilation. Tons of classic punk and hardcore, and the CD version is 60 freakin’ tracks. So great. Anyways, there’s some customers browsing around in the store and the Dead Kennedy’s classic “Kinky Sex Makes the World Go ‘Round” comes up on the comp. Despite the specifically 80s references, it still holds up pretty well as an indictment of the “war for profit” mentality in Washington.

Anyways, some middle-aged white dude came up about 3/4 of the way through the song, saying that it was unpatriotic, and was I trying to criticize our actions in Libya and that President Obama has earned the right to some respect and that politics shouldn’t be “forced down people’s throats” at a record store anyways. Pretty sure this guy would have found the song pretty righteous back when George W. Bush was in office.

Anyways, the song ended and I skipped to Anti-Flag’s “Die for the Government”.

Artist: Various Artists

Album: P.E.A.C.E./War

Year: 1984 [Reissued 1997]

Hot off the presses! Had a person complain to me about the lewd lyrics of one particular song when it came up on the album. She said the song was “lewd” and “offended [her] cultural values.” That would be, of course, Pansy Division’s seasonal classic “Homo Christmas.” Here are the lyrics, for the curious:

You’ll probably get sweaters
Underwear and socks
But what you’d really like for Christmas
Is a nice hard cock
You deserve a cute boy
Who’s horny and queer
To make the most out
of Christmas cheer
I wanna be your Christmas present
I wanna be your Christmas queer
I wanna be your Christmas present
Have a homo Christmas this year
Don’t be miserable
Like Morrissey
Let me do you
Underneath the Christmas tree
We’ll push the packages
Out of the way
And after you’ve unwrapped me
Naked on the floor we’ll play
I wanna be your Christmas present
I wanna be your Christmas queer

I wanna be your Christmas present
Have a homo Christmas this year
—-(Instrumental)—-
Your family won’t
give you encouragement
But let me give you
Sexual nourishment
Licking nipples
Licking nuts
Putting candy canes
Up each other’s butts
I wanna be your Christmas present
I wanna be your Christmas queer
I wanna be your Christmas present
Have a homo Christmas
I wanna be your Christmas present
I wanna be your Christmas queer
I wanna be your Christmas present
Have a homo Christmas this year

Whatever. People need to get over themselves. I don’t think there’s anything more Christmas-y than a catchy pop-punk tune about hot guy-on-guy action.

Artist: Various Artists

Album: Punk Rock XMas

Year: 1995

This one always cracks me up, since it’s white boomer sacred cow material. But twice now I’ve gotten complaints about the leftist politics of this album. The first time was along a “lefties Hate The Troops” line and more recently (today, as of this writing) about how “depressing” it was to think about such horrible things like what’s being discussed in these songs, and who would want to listen to that kind of stuff anyways? It was a bad point, but at least it was stupidly made. If I may play armchair psychologist, I wonder if uptight white boomers are uncomfortable with reminders of their stridently leftist past since so many wholly and totally betrayed any principled they used to ostensibly stand for. So reminders make them uncomfortable as they work these days to destroy the lives of the poor and marginalized. Who knows.

Artist: Bob Dylan

Album: The Times They Are A-Changin’

Year: 1964

Complaint: “Why are you playing fag music?”

Stay classy, uptight white people.

Artist: Walter Gibbons

Album: Jungle Music: Mixed with Love: Essential & Unreleased Remixes 1976-1986

Year: 2010

Complaint: “You’re harshing my groove, man.”

Artist: Nausea

Album: The Punk Terrorist Anthology, Vol. 1

Year: 2004

Another one that I can never play without getting, at least, the stink-eye from someone who doesn’t like any Jazz that wouldn’t be performed by Wynton Marsalis. This album is loud, furious and would make most Metalheads weep in fright. I’ve gotten a number of complaints about it being too “loud,” “confrontational,” and - the classic complaint of Improvisational Jazz - “noodly.”

Artist: Peter Brötzmann

Album: The Complete Machine Gun Sessions

Year: 2007

Okay, this one may not be very fair since I usually put it on to kick out loitering hippies who just got their “mellow” ruined by the noise of sweet, sweet Lou. Anyways, people hate this album and I never don’t get some kind of complaint when I spin it. It’s abrasive, sure, but it’s actually an interesting listen if you pay attention. I know someday, somebody is going to hear me play this and think it’s pretty right on.

Artist: Lou Reed

Album: Metal Machine Music

Year: 1975